1. Your teen has a hard time taking tests.

Test-taking is never thought of as easy, but there are some people who really have a problem with it to a point where even if they know the information, they aren’t able to get a good grade on the test. You can help these types of teens by finding their specific cause and dealing with it.
Start by getting your teen on board. Talk to him/her and begin trying new things to create new study habits. Remember, high school is much different than middle school or elementary school. The problem could be in the new way your teen is learning at school. Also, make sure you are not the problem.
Assess your teen’s test-taking anxiety. Are there other stressors in that classroom that can be dealt with? Tone down those stressors as much as possible.
If you’ve done what you can at home and nothing has worked, talk to the school. Meet with the teachers and get ideas. Talk with the guidance office, they can help.

2. Problems with his/her peer group that affects your teen’s performance at school.

Problems with a peer group can mean many different things to a teen. It can be not having friends, having too many friends, being sucked into a friend’s problem, following friend’s actions blindly, getting mad at a friend and not expressing it appropriately, dealing with peers who are violent or into drugs, etc. The list can go on and on. These are your teen’s problems he/she will need to learn how to deal with them, obviously with your help if asked. But, when any of these type of peer problems affect your teen’s ability to do well in school, that is when it becomes a problem for you, the parent, as well.

  1. Talk with your teen, try to get the whole story. Sometimes teens who would never lie to you have a hard time giving parents the whole story when it involves a friend or peers who scare your teen.
  2. Realign your teen’s priorities by giving him/her your expectations for school behavior and grades. Sympathize with your teen’s problem and/or together you can come up with a plan to help, but remain firm with your expectations.
  3. Follow up with your teen. Praise him or her if she was able to accomplish what was expected and/or give encouragement to continue.                                                                                                                                                      
 3. Your teen lacks direction, not isn’t thinking about his/her future – at all. 
While your teen is developing into an adult, it is very normal for him/her to not know what he/she wants to do with his/her life. Your teen may not know even when he/she graduates high school – and that’s okay! It is not normal, however, for a teen not to have any hopes, dreams or thoughts about his/her future.
Generally, teens get ideas about who or what they want to become and they make plans. Whether these plans are realistic or not, this is very normal behavior as it will start to point to a direction that a teen is going to take towards his/her future. When a teen starts looking toward his/her future, school and grades start to be very important. Teens who avoid thinking about what is ahead of them tend not to care about their school work and what they should be learning.
If you have a teen that lacks a view of the future, you can help him/her by seeding some dreams through cool experiences that involve your teen’s interests. Ask people you know about their careers and tell your teen. For example, if your teen’s aunt is a chemist and gets to blow things up for a living, this is interesting. If your teen shows some interest in that, set up a conversation between the two – then hide all of the baking soda in the house.
Here is a fun trick that I like and use on my kids: asking "I wonder" questions. For instance, when your family goes to an airport, and you see a cool jet, ask your teen: "I wonder want someone has to do to be allowed to fly that thing."
If your teen would like an idea of what jobs and careers would interest him/her, he/she can take a career test. From there, he/she can look at the Occupational Outlook Handbook to see what different careers pay and what schooling is needed to be in that career. You can also send away for catalogs to different technical schools and colleges.

4. Your teen is too involved and over scheduled.

Sometimes to teens, it is too easy to say ‘yes’ and/or too hard to say ‘no’ when it comes to doing fun things. Then they will find themselves way overbooked with homework, part-time job and a social life - they get in over their heads! If this sounds like your teen, there is a simple fix – un-book him/her. Here are the four steps:

  1. Sit down with your teen and take a realistic look at his/her schedule.
  2. Have him/her prioritize the activities.
  3. Fit in what can be done and drop what can’t.
  4. Role-play with your teen and teach him/her how to drop an activity respectfully.
Others may be putting a bit of pressure on your teen to continue an activity that he/she would prefer to drop. If this is the case, come up with a plan with your teen on how to handle the other person. It may or may not take your intervention. Let your teen make that choice.


 5. Your teen is having trouble doing the work or homework.
Homework in high school isn’t what it was when your child was in grade school. It could very well be something you have never studied and don’t know enough about to help your teen, or it could be a long drawn out project that takes your teen an entire semester to complete. Either way, there will be times that parents can’t really help their teen in the ‘traditional’ sense of sitting with them and going over the answers. You and your teen will need a few different skills up your sleeve, try these:




  • Know where to find usable resources. As soon as your teen knows his/her schedule, look up websites that can help in a crunch. Local college libraries are perfect resources for high school Advanced Placement students and normally offer cards for local residents.
  • Write down the times the teacher is available for extra help and encourage your teen get it when it is needed.
  • Work on your teens organizational skills. This book can help: Organizing from the Inside Out for Teenagers.
  • Encourage your teen by being there for him/her. You do not need to know what his/her vocabulary means to be able to look at the answer sheet and quiz your teen. This one-on-one time means a lot.
  • Hire a tutor. there is no shame in getting some professional help, especially if it works.                                                                                                                                                                                                    6.Your teen is falling asleep in class.          
    Teens have a busy morning schedule as they need to wake up and get moving very early in order to catch a bus and get to school by the required time. This means teens need to get their rest the night before or they will be too tired to learn anything at school and may even fall asleep in class.
    When a teen falls asleep in class, two things happen: he/she misses what is being taught and he/she loses the respect of the teacher. He/She may also receive a consequence from the school, depending on the classroom discipline policy. All of these things affect your teen's academic success and can be avoided.
    To prevent your teen from being sleepy in class, try these three tips:
    1. Set a time for ‘lights out’ on school nights. This is never be any later than 10 p.m. and preferably 9 p.m. ‘Lights out’ means the computer, television, lights and cell phone should be off. Soft music can be on and used to help lull your teen to sleep.
    2. Help your teen develop a nighttime routine that involves activities that slow them down for the end of the day. Taking a bath or reading are two activities that work well. Turning off the computer and disconnecting from friends and the commotion of the day an hour before bedtime will also help your teen relax.
    3. Point out the positives after your teen has had a good night’s rest. This will reinforce what it feels like to be rested and capable of accomplishing what he/she wants.